70 Things I Gave up for my Son

I was talking to an acquaintance the other day who has no desire for children. This concept is completely lost on me so when I asked why, she replied, “I just want to travel and not have to worry about another person. I have things I want to do. A child just hinders you.” Boy, isn’t that the truth!! Let me tell you about all I have given up since having my son, just to really drive her point home: 

1. Having the option to stop during a road trip for coffee without rousing a monster who has finally fallen asleep in the backseat.
2. Wearing jewelry.
3. Taking a shower at a normal and relaxed pace.
4. Eating my food while it is still hot.
5. Keeping my television at a decent volume because no one is babbling or screaming.
6. Sleeping.
7. An organized house.
8. Experiencing Christmas without the worry of how much wrapping paper someone will consume.
9. Having the freedom to leave my house between the hours of noon and 2 o’clock because no one is napping.
10. Going for a run in cold weather.
11. Turning my radio up to ear-splitting decibels in the car.  
12. Drinking profuse amounts of caffeine.
13. Enjoying a thin, pre-baby body.
14. Various pairs of my skinny jeans.
15. Wearing high heels without regretting it.
16. Leaning my chair all the way back to catch some shut eye during a road trip without bumping into a car seat.
17. Keeping the dog food out at all times.
18. Sleeping in.
19. Making a quick grocery run.
20. Cleaning the house quickly, thoroughly, and without interruption.
21. Being able to vacuum without someone chasing me around.
22. Smudge-free, lick-free windows.
23. Reading a book without little hands reaching up in attempt to rip the pages.
24. Having nice things.
25. Having clean clothes.
26. Completing my morning routine in its entirety.
27. Eating a snack without trying to hide it.
28. Sitting down for more than 45 seconds at a time.
29. The pleasure of knowing I am only responsible for myself.
30. My career.
31. Uninterrupted adult conversation.
32. Money.
33. The choice to go to Target or not to go to Target.
34. A day guaranteed not to involve a poop discussion. Not even one.
35. A peaceful existence.
36. Getting to stay out later than 7 pm without dire consequences.
37. A clean floor.
38. Spontaneity.
39. A day without laundry.
40. Blissful ignorance concerning the dangers of the world.
41. Scream-free dinner times where I actually get to visit with my husband.
42. The necessity for an alarm clock.
43. A day devoid of hurdling a baby gate even once, let alone 60,000 times.
44. Kid-free friends who actually understand me.
45. The ability to unload my dishwasher without someone climbing into it.
46. A mind not consumed by jingles from a toy fridge made by the sadistic Fisher-Price company.
47. A self-absorbed lifestyle.
48. Being able to use both of my hands to perform everyday tasks.
49. Getting to eat all of my McDonald’s fries by myself.
50. Not wondering what to do with the other human in the house when I have to pee.
51. A love of winter, free of baby snow suits and car seat maneuvering.
52. The ability to watch the news without worrying myself sick.
53. Hearing rumors of a miscarriage or stillborn without falling to my knees to pray for those involved.
54. A night absent of exhausted cries to God to just make the screaming stop.
55. Bumps and bruises being a rare occurrence.
56. A life lacking the constant where-will-you-get-hurt-next radar.
57. Not budgeting specifically for an extensive supply of Gerber puffs.
58. A bottom drawer whose contents actually remain inside the drawer.
59. An existence that doesn’t concern itself with life insurance, guardianship, or wills.
60. A fridge that does not have the Poison Control number pasted to it.
61. The freedom to learn the Heimlich or not to learn the Heimlich.
62. Saving for a vacation instead of a college tuition.
63. Driving a reasonable-sized car instead of an over-sized suburban.
64. Napping on the couch without being roused awake by little hands swatting my glasses.
65. Not having one clue what is on TV at 4 am.
66. Having no need for an aspirator and not even knowing where one would find one.
67. Living in a world where regurgitated lentils still gross me out.
68. Not knowing or caring what a bumbo, boppy, or bouncer is.
69. The decisions to baby wear, get a bucket seat, or buy a running stroller were nonexistent.
70. Getting through a whole day without saying, “Be careful. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

This is quite an extensive list of all the things I have lost since having my son. Do I miss these things? Of course, but when I compare them to what I have gained, they are shallow and meaningless. I would imagine this would come as quite a surprise to my acquaintance. I would do anything to help her understand that what a mother gains far surpasses all that she loses. I don’t want to get all into it and bore you with another list that will be quite obvious to most of you, so I will keep it short:

 

1. Love that has no limit.
2. A deeper understanding for what Jesus feels for you, His child.
3. Profound and heartfelt gratitude that God has let you be a mother to one of His children.
4. Living with a man who used to just be a husband, but now he is a father.
5. Baby giggles. Need I say more?