I love to watch a garden hose snake and swell across my lawn as the water propels through it. Usually this visual treat occurs when I am watering my garden and I quickly forget about it as I start analyzing my bent onions and yellowed green peppers. However, today as I opened the valve to release the vigorous water, I realized how much I am like that hose and how much my circumstances are like that water.
We can’t control what happens to us anymore than a hose can control the water pulsing through it. I like to be in control. I think this is mostly the trait of any woman, but us women with the, shall I say, strong personalities perhaps suffer from this ailment a bit more. I have been known to attempt to control my husband, our finances, his job, our health, and my son’s moods–that’s just to name a few.
In my desperate need to control my world, I hear the Lord prodding me, “Be patient. Be patient. Be patient.” Truth is, I always act, again attempting to regain some control, instead of waiting patiently for my God to act. This is a severe lack of faith, but I have a feeling many can relate.
I may act with my words, which tend to be strong and convincing, but never have the effect I was hoping they would. I may act with my computer, jumping to Google to answer my burning questions. I may act with my cell phone, connecting with a friend who may be able to point me in the right direction. I may act with my feet, running to get a jump on things, to force control back into my life. No matter what path I choose to take, I am always left with a worse situation, a situation I created myself when, perhaps, God was hoping I’d step aside and let Him create for me a masterpiece.
Don’t get me wrong. I am fully aware the Lord has the power to work around my controlling nature and lead me down the right path anyway, since this is what I desperately desire if I were to just let go. However, I know that the hold I have on my own life hinders and slows God’s work in me. I can just hear Him saying, “Seriously, Tara, back off” in a calm, compassionate, considerate voice of course.
David says in Psalm 130:5, “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope.” I truly wonder what might be happening to David as he waits so patiently. Staying faithful to God through adversity is the way in which the Lord renews our faith (James 1:2-3) and transforms us (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is in those circumstances we may beg God to take away that God truly speaks.
Like a hose, I may feel like I am twisting out of control as a rush of unwanted circumstances propels through my life. However, like the hose submits to water, I will submit to God’s will and let the struggles mold me in whichever direction and shape God desires.